Fastar!

Action and Role-Playing in their purest, gleefulest form! Fastar! is the timeless tale of a boy with a big sword and a bowtie journeying across vast lands while being ambushed by malicious geometry. Wait, what, seriously? I'm not typing that, it doesn't make any sense. Oh, look what you made me do. I'll just start over. Fastar! is an Action RPG for when you just don't have time for an Action RPG. Dead simple to pick up and play, you'll be slashing and shopping your way across the grassy plains of [irrelevant flavorful name of fantasy world here] in seconds. You'll cross the world in mere minutes. But mastery of your true objective -- reaching that goal as fast as humanly possible -- could take a lifetime*. Fun for everyone from the casual player who loves to mash buttons, to the hardcore gamer-optimizer who loves to mash numbers, Fastar! will provide you with hours of minutes of seconds of simple arcadey joy. Featured features: - Reasonably adorable hand-drawn graphics! - 24 different game modes for a variety of play experiences, some of which don't actually count! - Global arcade-style high scores lists, where you can become internationally renowned if your full name is three letters or less! - Flashy magic spells for any kind of player, from Daring to Thrifty to Congealed! - A variety of control schemes to suit your particular playing posture! (Astronaut gymnasts excepted) - Sometimes in the background you can see a guy on a unicycle! Look for him, he's nice. * Lifetime reference mammal unspecified "A ridiculous amount of fun!" --TouchArcade Review "It's all about speed and it's ridiculously enjoyable." --Gizmodo "It’s all about distilling the unique fun of RPGs... into mere seconds of play." --PocketGamer "Expected to operate uncomfortable" --WeiPhone.com User Comment (translation c/o Google) "This is a game everyone can, and should enjoy!" --AppAdvice "[A] great cartoon RPG for the iPhone!" --1stimpressions.mobi "What this game has, above all, is that very particular, intangible magic which makes the very few select games rise above the rest." --Gabrien, TouchArcade forums "Fastar is a game that tried to do something different, and managed to get it absolutely right." --TouchAHolics "Pick it up for some great action!" --148Apps